It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write some of these blogs to my friends (hopefully) reading these words on the other side of a screen. I must admit how awkward I feel and nearly unequipped at this task. It was not so long ago I felt most at home behind my keyboard for hours on end as I’ve worked on publishing my very, first book. (EEK! Did I just say that publicly?!) You might think that sounds glamorous or professional to admit, but in honesty there hasn’t been a whole lot more nerve-wracking than writing down your most vulnerable thoughts in black and white just to hand them over for the whole world to judge. Writing is more than just words to me – it’s how I convey my passion and concern for the world over to you in hope (and fear) that one person can relate!

 In my busy obedience doing what I believe I was called to do over the last few years, I’ve realized the adage is true; time only moves by faster as the clock rotates another 24 and the world spins on that pesky axis. 

I find myself caught somewhere in the twilight zone of wishing we could speed ahead or lag behind – just not be stuck here in this awkward momentum wondering if the world is simultaneously getting better or worse all the time. Around every corner there is zero lack of entertainment or thoughts or professional opinions berating us today. There’s also no lack of self-control which leads to complete and utter demise of peace within our heart, mind and souls. Maybe they go hand-in-hand.

Do you ever find yourself caught in the chaos of this life? Wondering which chess move to make next in order to do the “next right thing?” Maybe you’re like me and you echo the emotions of the pawn in this game – two steps back and to the right or left? How do we ever get ahead? What’s the next decision we make that holds the potential key to unlocking our forever happiness or peace? Why does it always seem like a dead end road in the square of monopoly: “roadblock”, “do not pass go”, “collect funds” before starting that cycle all over again. There’s been more than once that I’ve seen friends go through hard times and give up. I’ve seen them make bad life choices repeatedly, just to wake up and blame the world and everyone around them. The cold hard truth is: the choice is ours. It’s yours and mine. Every day we wake up and are met with the same choices that will eventually define the dash between the dates on our headstone. 

Now don’t get me wrong. I want you to hear me say this: I have made more than enough bad choices in my own life, but the key to growth is that we cannot continue moving in the same direction that will inevitably lead us down a recurrent path to destruction. 

If we want better for ourselves, we must require better of and for ourselves. If we want the title then we have to work for the recognition. If I want my book to be published and to share my heartbreaking story of redemption with women – then I have to do the hard work and the late nights and type until my fingers are raw – over and over. No one ever promised us easy. But I will promise you – it’s worth it. You are worth it. And I will sing my heart’s song on repeat ( even if I can’t sing) because I believe that your life has a purpose and a plan just like mine. 

So here’s to new mercies tomorrow morning. May you wake up with the words engraved on your heart that you are worthy of grace. May you choose to make the first choice that will change your course of direction and lead you towards a new path of peace. And may you hold your chin high and reach for the stars in this twilight zone journey called life and look back one day proud of yourself for where you were and how far you’ve come. I believe in you. Because with all my heart I promise: You are Worth Fighting For.